The eNotes Blog RELAX. The World Ended in 634BCE

RELAX. The World Ended in 634BCE If you are stressing because there is not a single bed-and-breakfast in  Bugarach, France (purportedly the only place in the world safe from the predicted Mayan apocalypse of 2012), relax.   For a variety of reasons, the world is NOT going to end tomorrow. December 21, 2012, has been ballyhooed for years as the date the world will end. Fin. Finito. Thats all folks. And Im not paying that cable bill either. Except that it wont be. The list of Yep-thats-it. The-world-has-become-as-evil-as-it-possibly-can-be-and-____________(your god here)-has-HAD-ENOUGH is a loooooooooooooooooooong one, folks. Better get crackin on buying that gift for your aunt, because no one is gonna give you an eternal excuse.   Here is a brief list of the various We Are DOOMED! scenarios, all come and gone: 634 BCE and Some Pissed-Off Eagles Many Romans feared that the city would be destroyed in the 120th year of its founding. There was a myth that 12 eagles had revealed to  Romulus  a mystical number representing the lifetime of Rome, and some early Romans hypothesized that each eagle represented 10 years. 1st Century, Early Christians Some first-century Christians expected Jesus  to return within one generation of his death. According to some scholars,  Paul the Apostle was one of these. 375-400 CE,  Martin of Tours Stated that the world would end before 400. Writing There is no doubt that the Antichrist has already been born. Firmly established already in his early years, he will, after reaching maturity, achieve supreme power. 500 CE,  Hippolytus of Rome,Sextus Julius Africanus,Irenaeus All three predicted Jesus would return in the year 500. January 1, 1000:  Pope Sylvester II The  Millenium Apocalypse. Various Christians predicted the end of the world on this date, including  Pope Sylvester II. Riots in Europe. Panicky Europeans, 1346-51 The  black plague  spreading across Europe was interpreted by many as the sign of the end of times. 1656,  Various Christians   Theres always been a lot of monkeying around with numbers, with sects swearing that they have figured out the secret formula (yeahriiiight. we still dont know what, precisely, the secret spices are in KFC). Anyhoo. [s]ome Christians believed the world would end this year, as 1656 was the number of years between Creation and the Great Flood in the Bible. 1697,  Cotton Mather Well-known for his love of a good prank (kidding), [t]his Puritan minister predicted the world would end this year. After the prediction failed, he revised the date of the End two more times. (Okay.. this is getting tedious. There are literally dozens more but in the interest of time, and of course, our imminent demise, lets fast forward to the twentieth century). Feb. 4, 1962: Psychic Jeane Dixon Predicted a planetary alignment on this day was to bring destruction to the world. 1975, Jehovahs Witnesses In 1966, Jehovahs Witnesses estimated it had been 6000 years since mans creation; therefore, in the fall of 1975   it would be appropriate for Christs thousand-year reign to begin. These claims were repeated throughout the late 1960. In 1974, they reaffirmed their belief that there was just a short time remaining before the wicked worlds end. Oct/Nov 1982:   Pat Robertson, Evangelical Pastor In late 1976, Robertson predicted that the end of the world was coming in October or November 1982. (Well, that  was  the year of my first date, an event many wouldve predicted would bring the world to an end so perhaps a little leeway for ol Pat). April 29, 1987:   Leland Jensen, Halleys Comet Jensen predicted that Halleys Comet would be pulled into Earths orbit on April 29, 1988, causing widespread destruction. July, 1999: Nostradamus   A prediction attributed to Nostradamus stating the King of Terror would come from the sky in 1999 and seven months led to fears of the end. Annnnnnnnnnnd Presenting Despite All Historical Evidence and Obvious Fallacies to the Contrary! THE MAYANS! The so-called  Mayan apocalypse  at the start of the  14th baktun. The Earth is destroyed by an  asteroid,  Nibiru, or some other interplanetary object; an  alien invasion; or a  supernova. Good night, all. Unless I am destroyed by aliens or burned to a crisp by a supernova, Ill see you next week with some elegant toasts for the New Year, in which, surely, there will be predictions that all of us will become toast.